Men don’t know how to wear a dress.

Six nurses – one putting in an IV, one asking questions, one holding medications, and two untying my shoes. The sixth was taking my cell phone out of my hands. “It’s time go,” she said as she put my phone into the bag with my clothes.

I had yet another brush with the health care delivery system; this time it was the heart cath lab. On the way to work I was not feeling very good so I decided to go to see my primary care doctor, Dr. K. Her staff did an EKG and she looked up at me and said “You don’t belong here. You are going to the ER. NOW!” Okay my EKG was abnormal so I complied; sat in the wheelchair and let one of the nurses drive me in her car over to the ER (It’s about 500 feet away.)

They were waiting. It started out okay, just one nurse and then the X-ray Tech. Then it happened. I think I might have looked like a road kill deer with group of vultures all pecking at the poor creatures bones.

Then the lights are flashing over head, just like in the movies. The movies however do not let you experience the cold and wind as it rushs over your poor semi clothed body and the sheet is no protection.

The cath lab looked; well I really cannot tell you what it looked like. Some of the meds were kicking in and I was shivering. The betadine was so very cold. Then I felt warm blankets and Dr. S asking if I wanted something to relax me. “Yes, please.”

I opened my eyes in observation. Folk came in and out. I know Beth was there for a bit, Sarah got my keys to go get my stuff secured out of my truck; Brethren came by and gave me a blessing. Dr S came by. It is all groggy and barely in my memory.

I got a room a few hours later, complete with pressure cup, heart monitor, a second gown ( on backwards over the first). When they took me for a walk the nurse looked at me, shook her head, “Men don’t know how to wear a dress.”

My heart is great. Dr S said it is really good for a man my age. He found nothing, not even any blockages, my arteries are all clear. What ever cause the abnormal EKG was a mystery but it was not a heart attack. My heart monitor was clean and one nurse commented that at times my blood pressure was like a teenagers. But it does not stay that way, it fluxates. They changed my blood pressure medicine and I have some follow-up visits scheduled.

What is next?